Reflection: Echo

I went into this class uncertain of what to expect. I had some idea of what I thought it would be like, but that evolved over time. I thought it would mainly revolve around religion, with anthropocentric undertones, and I definitely panicked a bit the first few classes when I realized it was more focused on the anthropocene and all its complexities, utilizing and learning about religions as a way to cope with some of the uncertainties presented by the climate crisis - at least that’s how I came to understand it. I’m very grateful though, to have taken this class and been exposed to the information that I was. For example, the readings of the White Utopia Black Inferno week were beyond impactful. I felt so silly for not having known or uncovered the connection myself, because it makes so much sense and is so necessary in having a better understanding of the world. I found myself feeling more invested in the information related to the anthropocene than that of the information I actually signed up to learn about. It caused me to reevaluate some parts of myself and my relationship to the world around me, and how I’ll move through it in the future. It has left a lasting impact opposed to just feeling moments or hours of urgency, and I hope that isn’t something that dissipates after the class has finished. I’ve always considered making the way I cope with crisis, and through that I’m able to achieve some sense of connectedness to myself or to the universe, that making was my spiritually even though I think that’s really corny to say and I would never actually admit to, but its made me reevaluate that and also my “practice.” Making and spirituality for myself should exist as two separate entities, intertwined by not so much so that they’re dependent on each other. I also say this because when I think of making something, the process of making it and the material it’s made of are just as important as the form of the thing. This was always something I considered, the impact of process and material choice on the environment, but never truly felt a responsibility to follow through on, until now. To make without consideration of its impact on the planet feels extremely selfish, and now that I’ve realized this I don’t think I will ever not be able to ignore the implications what I choose to make, how it is made, and what it is made from. I’m not sure if this sense of responsibility is tied to selfishness or actually caring about the future of the earth, but I hope it’s the latter. 

This was the class I enjoyed most this semester, and I wish I had taken it at a time that maybe I could have given it more than I had these past few months, but I also think I took it at a time that I needed to. I plan to download all of the content from it to revisit over the break and in the future in general. There was a real sense of community that developed, even more so than some of my in person class experiences at the New School. I’ve definitely struggled to form my own opinions on a lot of what we covered in the course. I’m not sure if that’s due to being uncomfortable with the unfamiliar and lack of outside knowledge, or brain fog from the circumstances of the semester, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been impacted by the material or learnt anything. I guess I’ve never really felt like my voice matters, especially when it comes to anything non-visual, so that part of my brain has kind of shut off, but this class has also made me want to work on that. I don’t like feeling opinion-less or not being able to translate feeling into actual meaningful words. All is to say that the smaller group conversations were incredibly intimidating and a struggle, but that also caused me to engage more with the material and try to develop a better understanding of the material then maybe I would have if that hadn’t been part of the curriculum. I’m not the most comfortable in my spiritually, and I never have really taken the time to explore spirituality in relation to myself, never knowing if it was something that was apart of me or not. I felt intimidated by my peers in general, but especially by those that seemed to be so comfortable in theirs and that seemed to already be bathed in a wealth of knowledge surrounding their own beliefs and opinions, but I guess one of the most important things that I can take away from this class is that it is something that exists within me and is worthy of investigation.

(ES)